⛳ Depending on breathing

Multi-colored patinting

I get...meta...really easily - I think a lot, to the point where if left unchecked I lose a lot of time in the day. This was more of an issue when I was a kid - I'd spend hours of the day walking aimlessly around my house, for example. Other times I would walk back and fourth between the same room - something I still do, to a lesser extent.

I think one of the reasons meditation has been so appealing to me is that it allows me to "box in" my thoughts so I can more effectively do things. If I'm thinking about twenty things, and I mediate, it becomes 1 or 2 things. Some time after that it becomes 2 or 3, but it never really gets back up to twenty within the day.

Hence the paradox: before I can do a lot (move between 2-3 things with greater attendtion), I must first really force myself to do nothing.

This kind of focus has, in a lof of ways, helped me mature and prioritize things. On the other hand, it has also set me back. On days when I don't take those ten to fifteen minutes to center myself, I sometimes have a hard time talking, and...listening well. It has led to a sort of pseudo-dependence on meditation.

While the past three years has seen my focus, and attention to detail, improve due to taking those ten minutes, I hope the next few are filled with learning about other ways to do the same thing.